Had such a fantastic, unplanned, beautiful day on Tamarama beach with my flatmate, and her friends. Most of the guys were from South Africa, and spending time with them was certainly different from spending time with most of my Australian male friends. There was a real grounded-ness, chivalry, thoughtfulness, and unpretentious masculine energy that I encountered, and have encountered with SA guys, that I haven't, as a general, with men from other countries. Or boys from other countries.

Before you give me that look, I wasn't interested in any of them, and vice versa, haha, and nor have I dated an SA guy in the past. But there is definately something there that I can't quite put my finger on, that is aaaaaappealing. My flatmate (who is from SA) thought the same. In my encounters with most Australian males - I have found either a lack of wit, humour, intelligence, passion, or ballysness in the sense of approaching women in a genuine way. Or they have these qualities but aren't into vagina. And I don't mean mine, I just mean in general...

We were discussing this today (Myself, flatmate Marian, and her fabulous epitomized french friend Alexandra who alternates between passion for her flame and down right disgust, while smoking, swearing, giving orders, opinions, and laughing at the same time), and all of us seemed to agree on a few points.

Australian men have the casual thing going, but it's crap. They might have intelligence, but then no passion. There is a masculine energy, but it is pretentious and showy rather than grounded and humble. And there is definately a lack of deep seeded confidence. And where these things are apparent, then there is no subtle wit or humour that comes from culture and intellect. Maybe this gets better past the 20s. But that doesn't much help me. There's no communication regularity. No attachment. All game playing. Like, we know you are right next to your phone 24/7 - why wait two days to reply??? Can someone genuinely explain that logic to me? And if you use terms of endearment too soon, pack your bags. And as Alex put it, "aye doown wann to call im maiye lorve, yoo know, beecoz ee laiyke, freeeaks out, eee maight not cohme back, so aye say eeet een French, eet sownds soffterre".

So maybe being straight with them, being honest about not being up for the game playing might work? When you come across one of these, also, please, let me know. So far if I refuse to run, well they just find a runner to chase elsewhere.

I once offered to sew the sleeve of a guy I had been "dating" for about a month (I know, feminism is rolling over in it's grave...) and he gave me a pretty scared quizzical look. To which I replied (in all subtelty) "or would that freak you out", to which he nodded. Nevertheless he wasn't so keen on the whole, regular communication, regular interaction thing, regular anything, more like call-you-maybe-play-mind-games-say-the-right-things-but-see-ya thing, and proceeded to sever my heart about a month or so after that.

Which provided an excellent lesson. Know what you want, and stick to it. Don't settle. Well not in the early 20s anyway? Anyone who has read "He's just not that into you" will know how trans formative and empowering this simple concept can be. But my problem is my requirements.

Makes me laugh. a lot. Witty. Intelligent. Driven. Caring. Passionate. Creative. Attractive. Tall.

Plus - in case you hadn't noticed from my previous post, blonde and tall, slim, broad shouldered tends to get some kind of physical reaction I wish I could bottle at once and hide away.

Too many qualities from one nation of males? The same friend who made the comment about regular intimacy (first post), suggested I move to Sweden.

Please tell me that my becoming bitterness is premature, and the people with good experiences are the majority? Or maybe I just need to move out of Sydney.




P.s. Anyone doing the Eastern Suburbs regularly knows that for the majority, you could probably walk around naked in Bondi and the guys wouldn't notice they are too busy looking at themselves ;) and the rest are backpackers and leaving the country, like, tomorrow.

photos by Alexandra Cohen